If I hadn't decided to "try him out" earlier on even though I never foresaw marrying him in the beginning. I'm picky about who I date now because I let myself date people that I didn't think I would align with and that's because I gained that experience.We, as with everybody else, learn from our mistakes and that means taking chances.I just can't imagine not having that most important thing in common with the guy who I'd be spending the rest of my life with. I can't date someone unless I see marriage as a possibility with them.So even though I've had some really great potential guys, if I know it's not going anywhere then why set us up for heartbreak later? Once I find a person that I really want in my life, they will never leave my life if I can help it.But anyway, that thought has kept me mostly happy for a while but now I feel like I'm getting so old that I'm worried if I'll ever find someone. It sounds like your heart is in the right ("a good") place, but you both have walls up and have unattainable expectations.I know it's silly to feel like my clock is ticking even though I'm only 20. I don't know, it'll probably work out someday. Relationships are practice runs for long term commitment.Sure I've kissed guys at parties (drunk mistakes) and had "things" with guys - almost relationships.
Love and marriage pre-dates christianity and it happens outside of, and between any religion, nationality, race, difference between people you can think of.
Don't look at every opportunity with marriage as a necessity.
Give it a shot with someone you're a little interested in, but not quite sure of. Not to mention that being experienced really helps things and might help to shape your beliefs into a more realistic approach to life.
There's a lot of little things that all add up to make a person and sometimes it takes years to really know how they would be in the long, long term.
Just for a little anecdotal detail, I once had this friend that I thought was kind of annoying and over time I got to know him really well when he took care of me when I was injured.